Getting More, by Stuart Diamond.

Getting More, by Stuart Diamond.

사뭇 진지하게 읽다. 와튼에서 이런 책을 읽힌다는 건 좀 의외. 그릭이나 라틴만 파고 있는 줄 알았는데. 동어반복이 심한 편인데, 산재하고 있어 쉽게 알아차리기 힘들 수 도 있다. (좀 싸 보이긴 하나 읽을 만하다. 볼만하다. 글타.)

In a negotiation, questions are more powerful than statements.

 

옇든, 얻은 구절 몇귀;

Strike up conversation

The Trust Dynamics

Find a way forward

Much Better Made

You are right about that

Looking for joint gains

Expanding the Pie

 

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p.10 This is what most of negotiation should be about: the pictures in people’s head. You can not discover the opportunity or the resolution of conflict unless you think hard about the psychology of the other person.

 

P11. Starting with the picture in their heads.

 

p.15-17 Are your goals clearly defined?... You negotiate to meet your goals...write down your goals and remind yourself.

 

P.18 four hunters can each catch only one rabbit while acting alone, but they can catch a deer together.

 

 

P.19 Be yourself. Most people are bad at acting. People will detect it and you will lose credibility. If people don’t believe you, it’s hard to convince them of anything.

 

P.20

In our imagination, big, bold moves produce big success. In the real world, big, bold moves mostly scare people away... a few incremental omprovements and you will be fabulously more successful.... don’t be greedy. It turns people off and causes them to distrust and give you less. When you try to get a little more, ypu fall below most people’s radar screens. Your proposal is digestible. You can always ask more the next time.

 

P.27-28

Keep asking, stay focused on your goals... be polite but firm. With persistence comes self-confidence.

 

P.30

...more peace of mind.

 

P.32 PEOPLE ARE ALMOST EVERYTHING

People like to give things to others who listen to them, who value them, who consult with them. Unless you connect in someways with the people you are negotiating with, you won’t get a deal.

 

p.36

People are five times as likely to help you if you treat them as individuals... Even if you don’t know them, or you dislike them, making a human connection will usually get them to help you meet your goals.

 

P.37

Each individual is different and unique. Talk to them as individuals.

 

P.41

A key getting other people to give you what you want is to value the other party.... you want to give people more when they value you.

 

P.43-44

you make a small talk... you do it because you are interested in them. Because you want to try for a point of connection with other people. It's a way of approaching life... finding a common bond with other people pays huge dividends.... by valuing others, you are also acknowledging their power.

 

p.46

use empathy or just ask them for help. When you involve people in your problems, they will feel empowered, they will take ownership, they will be more likely to help you. Ask them for help.

 

P.47

The major component of trust is honesty- being straight with people. Trust does not mean that both sides agree with each other, or are always pleasant to each other. Your credibility is the most important negotiatuon tool you have.

 

p.58

Perhaps the biggest cause of negotiation failure, is communication failure. And the single biggest cause of communication failure is misperception... one good way to find out the other person or party’s perception is to ask questions. In a negotiation, questions are more powerful than statements.

 

P.63

Try turning your statements into questions... Questions also give the other party a better chance to participate in the conversation. You might learn something valuable.

 

P.65

Here are the basic components of effective communication:

(1) always communicate

(2) listen and ask questions

(3) value, don’t blame them

(4) summarize often

(5) do role reversal

(6) be dispassionate

(7) articulate golas

(8) be firm without damaging the relationship

(9) look for small signals

(10) discuss perceptual differnces

(11) find out how they make commitments

(12) consult before deciding

(13) focus on what you can control

(14) avoid debationg who is right

 

P.77

Talking is a sign of strength. Not talking is a sign of weakness.

 

P.75

Most people will give you the means to persuade them if you watch and listen carefully. Too often, we don’t notice enough about others. Noticing signals of all sorts- verbal and nonverbal- provide much information that can be used for persuasion.

 

p.125

Whast costs you nothing that gives me what I want, and what costs me nothing that gives you what you want?

 

A key memory aid to think about in all of this is linkages. You link things together that are not necessarily related. They maybe inside the deal or outside the deal. You can link them by issues, time, or other parameters: if you do this for me now, I’ll do soemthing for you later.

 

 

If you think more broadly abou the things you can trade off, you will make your relationships better. Things that seemed completely inflexible and difficult suddenly become easier.

 

P.133

trade items of unequal value. It works.

 

P.136

Emotion is about you, empathy is about the other party. Empathy is highly effective. Emotion is not.

 

P.153

Assertive

Collaborative

Compromising

Avoiding

Accommodating

 

P.203

hidden agenda

 

P.249

There is much less loyalty in today’s organizations. Companies shed people for all sorts of reasons.

 

P.371

Morale is important. The other side will know if you are nervous.

 

P.374

Get an agenda that both parties agree to.

 

이런 책 몇 권을 읽었다고 와튼 학위를 막 내주는 건 아니겠지 물론?

 

2013.初秋  鎭